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some reflections.

August 22, 2014

This summer has been very interesting because I really don’t know what I was supposed to do. I stumbled upon a lot of things that I have never felt or seen before especially when it came to ministry and my relationship with God.

Reflecting some stuff from this summer and gathering all the convictions to see where I could move on, I came onto this thing called ‘regret’ because I have been wrestling with a lot of things that I should have or could have done.

For example, as I was waiting for online bible study group around 8:30pm, I realized that people were busy tonight and they might not show up at all. I thought to myself, “Why was I so stubborn and told the people that we would have the bible study tonight?”. Now, it brought dissatisfaction in my heart because I could have used the time better with my Sunday School kids or with my family. Another question throwing into myself while sitting in front of Google hangout camera was “Does what I do really matter?”. That is the same question we ask ourselves everyday, isn’t it? I waited for 45 more minutes and knew that people might not show up for the bible study, so I prayed for them and left. I somewhat felt like it was right for me to feel regrets because I should not have held the online bible study from the first place — but i know in fact that things don’t happen randomly for the children of God. Even the good, the bad, and the ugly things. I had the time to check my own heart while waiting for people and I had a chance to pray for the people – that was worth it. May God help us and increase in numbers but I have no way of doing so. I will always remember of Pastor Peter’s message about him conducting the whole service CFC by himself one afternoon because no one showed up at church. That was one faithful servant right there. I am nowhere near that. I feel like I should be praying more for the people and studying the Word more.
This incident is not the first time nor will be the last time because a lot of things will come up with ministry. Even with my youth, there were so many times people did not show up after promising me that they would show up. I don’t blame them, really, I don’t.

When things happen like that, the first person I usually blame is myself. That is silly, but it is true. As if I should have known better to change the date or the time or I should have known better not to have too much expectations. Surely, life is full of surprises like a chocolate box. A ministry is like a mystery- I am just waiting for the Master to unfold it. Oh, little do I know about the Master and His plans. Pretending to think that I somehow mess up His plans with my thoughts and efforts, that is quite amusing.

This has been pretty tough convincing people to know there is a deeper spiritual battle that we are all facing and that we need each other. I am still considering about these Thursday Online Bible Study, Friday Night Bible Study with youth, and more fellowships with the Chin Church. At times, I do feel like giving up ministries while going to school and just focus on the academic side, but I feel selfish and I don’t think that is where the Lord is calling me. The wisdom to discern ‘how much is too much’ is definitely needed to go on forward.

I am creating a chart of prayer time/ study time/ free time for this coming year. It is gonna be tough taking 12 hour credits. A life with disciplines and consistency is what I need to pursue.

And no, no regrets. Too many souls and sound theologies at stake. I must persevere to the end time. All is worth for Christ.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose.

Hebrews 12:10-11 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo.

Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem qu

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totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo.

Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem qu

– See more at: http://dineshkarki.com.np/use-any-font/demo#sthash.QD94DDNL.dpuf

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