I am sorry for writing this letter so late, my lovely sister. Now is like a month after your birthday, on Christmas day. Forgive me for I have been so busy with life, which I will explain to you more later. You know, I enjoy writing to you a lot actually because your birthday is at the end of the year, and it helps me reflect too.
I couldn’t be any happier with you. You have been great intellectually and physically. Your ability to obtain some of the memory still puzzles me. You are one smart kid. You are obsessed with princesses and you dressed up as princess Tiana this Halloween, and you are collecting their stickers wherever you go. Your hair has been very long and your smile captures all the attentions in the room. Your ways of showing your emotions are like no other. It is like what our Chin people always say, “the Chins-Born-in-America are like different breeds.”
All I want to say is that I am a proud brother, and I love you! I am taking you to school every morning these past 7 months, and we have been getting along. Sorry I left home and stayed in Chicago for like 5 months earlier in the year, and I surely did miss you. It is just that I feel too comfy and soft when I am with you and thought we needed a break. Well, I am back again to take care of you now.
You are still at that age of not knowing what is wrong and what is right. You would learn swear words from school and spit them out here and there at home. You would hit some of your friends at school and came home with red cards. But one thing though, you do obey and listen when I tell you that those are bad things. You heart is still tender and teachable.
I have been learning a lot this year too, Elizabeth. Got myself in positions where I could easily compromise my love and obedience to Christ. Got myself into the turning points of life that changed almost everything. Got myself into good fights with the rest of the world for the best. It has been an interesting year, and you would be surprised to find out why things are the way they are now. In a very short descriptive way, I have turned away from Medical School path and has moved on toward Seminary school. That was the biggest decision that I made, and perhaps the most satisfying one because of these convictions in John 4:34-35. I have a burden for our Chin youth, and I firmly believe that I am called to be a part of God’s plan in it. Some had doubts, and with some, I had bouts. It was and is still worth of it all. I don’t know what this may look like in 5-10 years, but I can tell you that I am in good hands.
That being said, sis, you will be making a lot of tough decisions in your life soon enough. I want you to have one thing remained in all those — to have someone back you up, not yourself but Someone greater than you. Take that support and just move on, no regrets… because you know that whatever the outcome maybe, you have done what you are supposed to be doing. That is the real success.
Our world has come to be smaller and smaller through the networks and social media. Our world has (seemingly) becoming more evil. Our world has little rooms for the righteousness and grace. Let not the world define you and who you are, for it will get what it deserves one day, but remember that you are not living for a life worthwhile not only on earth, but the one ever after. For me, the more I have come to experience God and His grace, the more I can take joy even in the midst of my loneliness, my anger, my sins… for they are never out of God’s grace. I can tell that they, themselves, are making me more and more falling in love with the true KING. They point me to the true home, its owner. Never be afraid, sister. There is love that is vast as the ocean and it casts all the fear. I want you to take your steps slowly…. knowing what is in the end.
Kid, one thing that I am learning these days is that it is better to receive more from the Lord than from people. What does that mean? Let us not look for people’s praises and what they have to say about us, but anticipate for what the Lord has seen in our sacrificial hearts. If we want praises from people, yes, we may fully get them at times (Matthew 6:5). However, those may nullify the praise that comes from our heavenly Father. Does that mean we get more rewards from the Father when we don’t get praises from people? No, but we come to see the greatness of heavenly rewards when we do not get the earthly presents and we hunger for the Holy Spirit as our ultimate gift. The grace comes to be much greater, our eyes are open as wide as the heaven instead of the little boxes of gifts/ twisted words of thankfulness/ witty praises, and that even helps us see where our true home is. It is a blessing from God actually because the appreciation on earth may decrease the great extent of the Father’s joy in His creation. We learn to take joy primarily in the Father’s joy.
Lastly, I can see you struggling with how you look and how you are as you get older and older. The things you see on yourself are not fitting as the things you see in the outside world. Let me tell you this — you can never as perfect as you are at this very moment (whenever you read this). Learn to love yourself and appreciate how/who you are. God sees you right now and He is pleased with you. You will not be more perfect tomorrow nor were more perfect yesterday, because through the blood of Christ, God plans and orchestrates your life so that you can be as perfect as you are RIGHT NOW. Let no one say it otherwise, even me. Learn to define the word “perfection” as a part of God’s will and plan.
As I mentioned, I will say it again. God loves you so much that He sent His only Son to die for you on the cross. We were so desperate (though we didn’t even know) because we did not how to know our Creator, and God had to initiate it for us. I cannot tell you enough how blind we are in our spiritual death, but I hope and pray that God will reveal to you eventually through His word and grace. Christ has done what I couldn’t do for you, to die and to give you a life. Even if I die for you, you may have a life here, but not the eternal one and most importantly to know the mighty God, who truly loves you more than I can ever do for you.
take joy because I will be praying for you “so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” (Colossians 1:10-14)
I love you, sister. Sorry, I fell asleep while watching ‘Little Mermaid’ with you today.
4 years old: http://dosanaa.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/what-is-mine/
3 years old: http://dosanaa.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/dear-little-sis/