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God and i on a trial.

August 25, 2012

08/24/12 8:30pm

i was at a prayer meeting, and in bitterness i called out God for a trial (and i got this analogy/vision like thingy). as i prayed more and more the trial went deeper and deeper. the lawsuit was that i wanted to take over my life and that He would give up the control if He lost this. i’m filing Him under being unfair, not making things going my way, and not making things happening in my life. (as sinful as it sounds, this is what we do when we are not praising Him daily)

i was my own lawyer and plaintiff. God was sitting in the defendant chair and i started my way to make the case. i went up, pointed my finger at Him and spilled all my anger. i stopped and wanted to shift the focus on Him. i must have understood that during the trials, you gotta attack the other party by who they are… very smart, i thought.

let me tell You who You are!
i read, ‘Genesis 1:1, in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth’…..
‘in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth’….
‘in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth’…
God looked at me like…. and??
‘in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth’…

i puzzled. i couldn’t continue. i rested my case. i sobbed and sobbed. tears falling down like a waterfall. i just realized Whom i was against. the Creator of all things…. finding so unworthy and knowing that by putting Him on a trial, i deserved death. i had insulted the Great I AM. i felt ashamed like Adam covering Himself with the fig leaves. i felt undone like Isaiah when he saw the holiness of God. i looked around the room, and my audience was God. the juries were also God. the Judge on that high seat of throne was God.
‘how did i got myself into this?!’ – i screamed. the Great I AM looked at me and said, “I still love you. you see the Man over there in the corner? that’s my Son, Jesus Christ. for all your sins and insults against Me, He will die for you. so you may know I am the Lord your God who loves you and works for your own good (rom 8:28).”

– the court has now become His court of love and my righteousness. i wonder how many of us put God on trials on a daily basis. i do that because i want to be my own god and to have control over what is going on. when we see the blameless sacrifice of Christ, what is our response? –

i was still weeping more – not of fear but of joy for God’s unfailing love/grace this time.
“Because a sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free;
for God, the Just, is satisfied, to look on Him and pardon me”

Court Adjourned. thank you, Christ, for being my Cornerstone.

Romans 11:34-36 “who has known the mind of the Lord? or who has been His counselor?” “who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?” for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. to Him be the glory forever! amen.

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